Someone To Protect
by Light In The Void
Summary: You don't need a heart ... to want to protect someone. You don't need a heart ... to love someone. Drabble.


Hello~ I finally saw Howl's Moving Castle in full when it was on TV the other day (I'd only seen the beginning and ending in japanese before that, due to unfortunate mis-timing) and was immediately inspired to write this story ... Hopefully it's not too OOC for Howl -___-;;

Warnings: None

Disclaimer: I don't own Howl's Moving Castle, the movie or the book. If I did own that castle, though, I'd go travelling XD

Author Ramblings: Uh, this is based on the movie version (since I haven't read the book yet -_- Why are things never in the library when you want them?) and it's set near the end just after Howl flies out to protect the hat shop and as Sophie decides to move the castle.

Also, thanks go to my beta Ryouta, who does a wonderful job~~ :D

Well, here we go~ Hope you enjoy it~ \(^o^)/

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_I'll stand guard out front._

He soared above the battle-ravaged town, wing-tips slicing through the smoky haze of the sky, the scent of fire and death hanging heavily on the wind that rushed through his hair. His mouth twisted in disgust at the flames below, greedily gobbling homes and lives without a though as they lit the night like a beacon. Screams and sirens wailed amidst the droning of the battleships, the whistling of the falling bombs and the explosions as they hit the ground, great starbursts of light and fire and heat reaching for the sky with dirt and rubble fingers. The flames of hell had grasped Market Chipping, Howl thought, and thrived on its chaos.

And somewhere in the midst of it all, his Sophie.

_I have to protect her. I have to protect _everybody.

The fear in her hazel brown eyes as she bade him not go, to run away with her flashed across his mind's eye, the gentle memory of her arms around him at contrasts with the outside world. It was a tempting offer to the old Howl; was still a tempting offer – he had not changed overnight. _But can't you see, Sophie? I don't want to run away anymore._

Was it unnatural, what he felt when he saw her laugh? Was it strange, to want hold her in his arms when she cried; to tell her she was beautiful no matter whether she was young or old or whatever she said otherwise? What was it that he felt for her? Love? Was it possible for him to love someone? What was love to a man without a heart?

A familiar whistling filled the air, breaking the flow of thoughts and bringing his attention back to the surface. Howl saw the bombs begin to fall from the airship ahead. _The hat shop is directly below us!_ he realised with a thrill of horror, and dived after them. He raced the bombs earthward even as he became aware that _he wasn't going to make it_. _No!_

Magic speeded his descent to no avail. More feathers began to sprout from his face as his body took the toll, yet Howl hardly noticed; his attention fixed on the line of explosions now tearing through the town below. A rage-filled howl escaped him; a monster's wordless roar, barely human, driven by the pain that tore through his body. Something was wrong; something had happened to Calcifer, which could only mean –

Enveloped in a blind rage he fell upon the ship, massive claws rending metal with horrendous screeches, lashing out with magic at the monsters buzzing around him that once dared to call themselves human wizards. _Fools_. He felt his body shifting, his humanity slipping away in growth of feathers and claws. A streamer of magic lashed the ship's wing, destroying an engine even as his claws struck a fuel line, igniting it. The ship shuddered beneath him, explosions rocking it as it slowly began to sink, bellowing smoke. Howl didn't care; he roared defiance at the monsters around him as the flames around him leapt higher, searing flesh. _If Sophie is hurt – if any of them are hurt – _

Howl launched himself at the nearest mage, destroying it before it even had a chance to react. He sped away, abandoning the dying ship as a flock of the monsters followed him. The wizard was tiring, wing beats beginning to falter. One of the monsters grabbed onto his back; another latched onto his neck, biting deeply and drawing blood and a roar of pain. Howl twisted, trying to throw them off, but more had taken advantage of his moment of distraction, surrounding him, biting and tearing and clawing his flesh until he was not sure whether it was his roars of pain or the explosions he could hear above the incessant buzzing. He could see nothing but a thick wall of fat bodies that would not budge no matter how many of the creatures he killed. They could smell his blood, could feel his strength waning, and it spurred them into a greater frenzy. Howl drew his wings across his face, trying to protect his head from the onslaught. For a brief moment, he thought he heard Sophie's voice, calling to him faintly. Even if it were just his imagination, it brought him to his senses. _I'm still alive, so Calcifer must be as well!_ And if Calcifer was alive, there was a good chance that the others were alright as well. There was still hope.

_To protect someone we care about, we can __become as strong as we need to be._ Howl had laughed when someone had told him that a long time ago. A coward like himself was good only for running; if someone was relying on _him_ to protect them …

But now someone _was_ relying on him, and he wasn't about to let any of them down. Maybe he _didn't_ have a heart, but he knew now that you didn't need a heart to want to protect someone. Perhaps that was the _real_ feeling of love, the need to keep them safe, to preserve their happiness at whatever cost. Maybe it was selfish of him to want to see all their smiles again, but Howl did not care.

He loved them all, then: Markl, who took every opportunity to practise his magic, sometimes leading to interesting – or disastrous – results; Calcifer, a fallen star to whom he had given his heart and his friendship, who Howl counted on to speak plainly and truthfully amongst the grumbling and the wisecracks. Maybe even the former Witch of the Waste and Sulliman's dog, Heen. _I want to protect them all._

Sophie … Sophie was different. He cared for her in a way that was unlike what he felt for the others.

_Howl!_

Strength roared through him, making his eyes snap open. He _had_ heard Sophie that time. Howl rebelled against the pressing mass around him, calling to the sky with all his magic and summoning a single, overwhelming bolt of lightning. It blasted through them all, enemies and Howl alike, rending flesh and searing bone. The flock broke apart and Howl made his escape, pushing through them even though he was half-blind from the lightning strike.

She knew his faults and did not care. He would do anything for her, even become a monster; give his own life if it kept her safe. For the first time in his life, he regretted that he did not have a heart; but had he not lost his heart, Calcifer would not have survived. He would not have met Markl. He would not have met Sophie. _Even if I'm not capable of love, I love her._

Coldness washed over Howl and his wings faltered. Tiredness turned his body to lead and he felt so weak, so tired … His empty chest twinged. _Something is wrong; Calcifer's been hurt._ But panic was dulled by tiredness and his eyes were starting to droop shut. He felt himself falling, heard the triumphant shrieks of the monsters behind him. _Is this where it ends …?_ he wondered, calm despite the storm raging around him. His final words to Sophie came back to him as he dropped, watching the red clouds slip further and further away.

_I've had enough of running, Sophie. And now I've got something I want to protect__. _

_It's you._

As Howl dropped like a stone through the sky, a faint smile graced his lips.

_That's all that matters to me._

~*End*~

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A/N: Thanks for reading~! Now, I just need to find the book ... ((((/^o^)/

Howl and Calcifer were definately my favourites in the movie, though ^^b


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